There's No Place Like Home
by enchantment1972
Summary: The Doctor and Rose are looking forward to moving into their own home. Unfortunately, the Doctor has made an error that causes their life on the slow path to grind to a halt. **Fourth of the Forever After series**


**Author's Note:** A great deal of this story refers to incidents from the first three stories in the Forever After 'verse. It is best to have read those first in order for this story to make complete sense. _Anything in italics is thoughts._

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

It's Friday morning at the Tyler mansion and everyone's gathered in the kitchen for breakfast.

"All right you lot, what do you want for breakfast?" asks Jackie.

Pete flips through the pages of his newspaper and answers, "We haven't had pancakes and sausages in awhile. How about that?"

Jackie's smile widens as the Doctor gives Jackie a hard stare and replies in a biting tone, "Nothing for me, thank you."

Tony lets out four high pitched squeaks on his recorder that sound remarkably like Psycho's shower scene.

Pete gives Tony a suspicious glance over the top of his paper and questions, "Have you been in my movies again?"

Tony quickly looks off to the side and drawls out, "Nooooo. I taught myself."

Jackie, standing at the stove, looks back over her shoulder and coos, "That's Mummy's little man."

Tony gazes at the Doctor in wide eyed innocence and continues to play the same four notes over and over.

The Doctor merely looks back at him and thinks to himself, _I'll say. Mummy's little man. Phfftt!_ Then he glances over at Jackie who is watching him with a hawk-like stare.

His eyes immediately dart down to her hand which Jackie immediately holds up in the air. She's wearing a smug smile and says, "No worries, love no Owthtiwretteb jewelry today.

The Doctor replies, "I can see that. That's also not the finger that you wore it on."

Rose and Pete share a smile and Pete asks, "So what do you two have planned for today?"

Rose answers, "We're going to work on the car for awhile and see where the day takes us."

Tony sings, "Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?"

Jackie mutters, "Pedestrians." The Doctor shoots her a glare.

Jackie fixes him with her own fierce gaze and chastises, "And don't give me that look! Every time you work on that car, you leave a trail of parts lying all over the place."

The Doctor replies, "That's not true! I always pick up after myself!"

Jackie deadpans, "The mess of parts isn't from not cleaning up, they fall out as you drive off."

"Mum," says Rose in exasperation, knowing how much her mother loves to wind up the Doctor. "You'll only have to put up with it for a couple of more months and then we'll be able to move into our new home."

Jackie's hands rest on her hips and she shakes her head. "Only the two of you would buy an old hotel and call it home."

Rose and the Doctor grin madly at each other before turning back to Jackie. "It's the perfect home for us. Not only is it the closest human abode that resembles a TARDIS, but it should also be just big enough to accommodate all of Rose's wardrobe."

"Oi!" shouts Rose as she smacks the Doctor's arm. "More like we need all that room for your hair products!" She turns her head to the side and mutters, "And your ego."

The Doctor gives her an aside glance. "I heard that."

Rose sing-songs, "You were meant to."

Pete chuckles and says, "Regardless of the reason, the hotel needs extensive repairs and upgrades before you move in there. We have plenty of room here to feel free to stay as long as you like."

Rose runs around the table to hug Pete and give him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Dad."

Pete returns her hug and the Doctor says, "Yes, Pete, thank you. That's very generous of you. I don't mean to sound ungrateful or rude. The mansion's size is no problem, it's obviously enormous. It's just the house's occupants that are making me feel trapped."

With the warm family moment now broken, everyone turns to stare disbelievingly at the Doctor. "What?" he asks in his defense? "I told you that I didn't mean to sound ungrateful or rude! In all my lives, I only ever traveled with three companions at the most at the same time. I'm sorry. But to put it simply, it's better with two, not five."

They just continue to stare at him. _Hmmm…_, thought the Doctor, _I've noticed the eye rolling thing with Rose but I've never seen them all do it a the same time before. I wonder if it's an inherent family trait. Except for Tony. What's his problem anyway?_

Tony keeps fidgeting and pulling at his pants. Jackie scolds, "Tony Tyler! If you have to go to the bathroom, then go! Don't just sit there pulling on your privates, you'll pull it out of shape!"

Tony retorts, "Like the Doctor does?"

Rose gasps, "What?"

Tony explains, "When you went away on that mission, Mummy told the Doctor that he better not go on the pull."

The Doctor squeaks, "That's not what she meant!"

Rose laughingly tells him, "That better be what she meant!"

Tony looks straight at the Doctor and challenges, "I bet I've pulled mine bigger than yours."

The Doctor sputters, "What?" "No, you have not!" he denies vehemently. "Mine is way bigger! It's practically transdimensional. It's so big that I have to use big boy magnum size condoms and when exactly, did this conversation take such an inappropriate turn?"

Horrified at his own lack of rudimentary tact, the Doctor hastily shuts up. Pete breaks the tension by inquiring, "Big boy magnum condoms, huh? Then I guess you can always borrow some of mine if necessary."

Both Rose and the Doctor look appalled at this prospect while Jackie gives a snort of laughter. Jackie asks, "Oh, so Mickey left his stash behind then?"

Pete gives Jackie a smile full of derision. _Keep cackling, Jacks. I'm sure there's a bucket of water around here somewhere._

Tony merely looks around in confusion at all the adults and questions, "So should I get my ruler or not?"

"Not!" they all cry out in unison.

Tony smiles sweetly and thinks, _See, they know I'm bigger._

Jackie motions upstairs and says, "Tony, just go to the bathroom."

"Okay, Mummy," replies Tony as he runs off to the loo.

Rose notices the Doctor starting to fidget in his seat and with her tongue in teeth grin asks, "What's the matter, Doctor? Do you need to use the loo too?"

The Doctor offers her a condescending glare and answers, "Thanks ever so much for your concern, but no. I think I've spent more than enough time acquainting myself with the various Tyler bathrooms. Besides, I'm anxious to go into town."

Rose looks confused and says, "I thought we were getting an early start on the car. Why do you need to go into town?"

The Doctor states, "The contractors called last night to remind me that I still need to apply for the building and restoration permits."

The room goes silent except for Pete. "You still haven't applied for the permits?"

The Doctor smiles serenely and says, "No, but I don't see a problem. All of the materials have arrived so I gave the go ahead to begin work on the hotel. I'll just go into Town Hall, fill out a few forms and I'm done." He waves his hand dismissively and declares, "It should just take a few minutes."

Rose shrieks, "Doctor! The contractors can purchase all the materials they need, but they can't actually work on the hotel until they have those permits!"

An increasingly worrying look appears on the Doctor's face as Rose continues to explain, "Remember when you were stranded on Earth in your third body and you worked for UNIT as a scientific advisor? How many times have you told me about the tedious never-ending paperwork and ever time-consuming bureaucracy?"

The Doctor instantly jumps up from the table and grabs Rose's hand. "Well, what are you waiting for?" he asks in fright. "Run!"

They're out the door before Jackie and Pete can blink. Jackie murmurs, "With that car, they'll have to."

The door suddenly flies back open and the Doctor stares pointedly at Jackie. "I heard that," he states before he rockets back out the door.

Jackie and Pete fall into each others arms, the kitchen echoing with their laughter.

**THE END**


End file.
